You’ve heard the expression of ‘Tough Love,’ when saying ‘no’ for a person’s better benefit or welfare. It is usually connected to a teenager – especially regarding some kind of addiction, by enforcing certain constraints on them, or requiring them to take responsibility for their actions. It was Bill Milliken who coined the phrase from his book of the same title in 1968, but it has become quite generic since then for the controlling of so many bad habits of humans.

For those of us who are or were enablers, or just overly wanting to help others, it’s important to understand there are times when “no” is an expression of love. These times are when real heart-love dictates that you must allow someone to experience the discomfort of their irresponsibility in order for you to be true to your own heart. And remember, pleasing people is an act of love, only when your heart is genuinely inclined to do so. So, to remain true to the presence of light within your heart, serve the guidance/intuition in your heart in each moment. This means saying ‘no,’ rather than living by the dictates with which you have been trained or told to do.

My rule of thumb with most people regarding negative things is the standard – ‘3 Strikes Rule.’  They promised, or said they were going to change, or stop whatever negative, irresponsible behavior and they have not. As the old saying goes:  “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” A person cannot grow and learn from their lessons – no matter how old they are – if you don’t allow them to live through the consequences of their negative behavior. When you are a kind, giving person, there are those friends or relatives (and sometimes your culture may dictate this) that expect you to bail them out – over and over again. Truly they will never grow and change if you continue to do so.

At the same time, this crosses into the category of boundaries, and those people who also take you for granted, they want your time for things that ‘in your heart’ you do not have the time or energy to take on. Start saying ‘no’ to them also, and do it as honestly as you can without giving any great explanations – you really have other obligations, or simply no time, or any real interest. Most people, after you’ve said ‘no’ a few times will no longer bother you. Your time and energy is exactly that – YOURS. Your highest Path is to be Love in every breath, thought, action you take. And, it must start with yourself – loving you totally, unconditionally and completely with all your heart and soul. If you are doing things you truly don’t want to do, you are not being honest or true to yourself. This will eventually cause stress and resentment of the other person(s).

Yes, it requires you to be aware in each moment, vigilant to your feelings/intuition, and thinking as well as doing. In this way, you recognize what is not done in Love, and release it. Daily you can realign yourself by opening your Crown chakra and allowing Source Light to flow into you with the replenishing love-energy. You build your consciousness through being congruent -balanced spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. As you stay focused on your Divine Spirt with your connection to Source, the details will work themselves out with amazing things manifested, or opened up for you. You will learn to Trust in the unknowable and unseeable energy surrounding you, as your experiences help you move further into Source-consciousness. Open-up to infinite possibility of magical-miracles, for these are part of your New Life with your growing Empowerment to share and show by example.