There is a real value of being happy, and that meaningful reward it gives – as I’ve said before – is good physical, mental and emotional health. Again and again research has proven that when you  are basically happy, your life is rewarded by being all-around better. It truly has nothing to do with how much money you have, as happiness makes you grateful for every little thing, which rewards you with more. Even if you may have dire health-issues, your chance of recovery is always stronger with a positive, happy attitude. If you are not happy in your job, a change in attitude will bring the change in job that you’ve always longed to have. Of course, it’s not instant, but the usual step-process of one positive thing leading to another.

So the question is:  Why are you resisting happiness? Sounds silly, doesn’t it, or What are you afraid of? Ask yourself these ridicules hidden questions to recognize your resistance or rationalizations. Do you truly think you don’t deserve it, or do you not understand that it is a choice? It can only come from the inside, so don’t look for the nearest sale, or diet to truly make you happy. You need to talk to yourself, so you can understand and dissect your skewed or inherited beliefs in this very important area of your life. Do I need to repeat what is at stake here – physical, mental and emotional well-being!

To avoid joy and happiness, means not taking action to receive this reward for allowing ‘being happy’ into your life. Understand at the core, who told you that you don’t deserve to be happy? With the ‘Who & Why’ known, you can start the changes to letting some joy into your life. When you feel better about yourself, you create happiness that is meaningful and fulfilling, as you add it to your life intentions. As I’ve mentioned before, there are three basic steps which will start making your life better and happier – they are quite basic. The hardest part is what has been mentioned above – learning why you’re not happy, then releasing that negative, and acknowledging your awareness of it, so it is no longer allowed to be any part of your being.

Once you have that awareness and know you have a right to be happy, start your deep breathing process. This is the most powerful tool as you clear and release all of your toxins, in each deep breath. I do mean deep breathing that goes down into your belly, and you learn to hold it as a full ten-count going in and releasing out. Nothing rids you quicker of stress, guilt or anger than good, deep breathing – at least 3 – 5 deep, long-count breaths. Shallow breathing might keep you alive, but not truly living healthy, as the deep breathing releases calming and fills you with oxytocin. That is the ‘feel good’ body-created chemical that is easily available to you with every deep breath. You have to breathe anyway, why not make it a real, valuable exercise of happiness.

The third step is easy, and also powerful – Choice. It is not only God-given, but for us Americans it is supposed to be part of our guarantees from the Constitution:  “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.” Remember the key word there is “Pursuit.” Your choice to do, as long as you are not infringing on anyone else’s rights. We have choices everyday from morning until night and beyond, how we choose to live, eat, dress, job – the things we buy and what we do to take care of our health and welfare. It also means that we can choose who we want to be around, and what we do with our leisure time. Do you truly choose someone whose presence in your life helps you to grow, or are they someone who is a thorn in your side? Some people can teach you in a positive way, while others with their negativeness limits your capacity to learn how to love. If you have the latter instead of the former, it is your Choice to change that situation. Always choose love, as it is the fastest, most powerful path to healing. Remember, happiness is not about attached value to things that aren’t love – the money, car, house, prestige – are things that can’t love you back.

The real Choice is to experience loving yourself and others, the true happiness in life. Now, that’s Empowerment!